Have you ever noticed how we tend to dwell on everything that’s wrong?
While there may be some deep emotional reason why you’re doing this (and I invite anyone to explore that of course), you can start working on it right now, without going deep, and make a big difference in how you feel, and how you influence others around you.
A friend sent me this quote and it inspired me to write about it because we all fall into this trap.
Not even 24 hours later, my friend answered my “how are ya today?” text with something that was wrong!
Us humans, we’re creatures of habit. And we’re not always aware of what we’re doing and saying. Breaking the habit sometimes takes other people helping us to see what we’re doing.
I can’t completely skip right over the ‘why’ (even though it may be a lot deeper than this). Typically the reason people focus on the negative is the emotion around it. It’s usually a lot stronger than your emotion around a joy, unless it’s a knock-your-socks off kind of ‘wow’ joy. So our attention is hooked by the negative because it evokes a stronger emotion. Without even thinking about it, we’re complaining about everything that is not going right, instead of looking at all the things that are!
Take these 3 simple actions to start changing the habit immediately:
Pay attention to your emotions, and the words that come out shortly thereafter. (Don’t be too serious about it - lighten up, laugh at yourself.)
Practice just feeling the emotion, letting it pass right on through, and look for a positive.
Before you go to bed, think of 3-5 things you’re grateful for. When you wake up, think of 3-5 things you’re grateful for.
Begin #3 right now, share in the comments 3-5 things you’re grateful for!