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How to Gain Respect

Updated: Oct 4, 2019

We earn respect through our actions. We can’t force it, and we can’t demand it.

Respect starts inside - respecting ourselves first. That’s why we begin the GRIT® (Generosity, Respect, Integrity and Truth) model with Truth and Integrity. By knowing and accepting ourselves, and being true to ourselves, we’re practicing self-respect.

If you’re constantly looking for respect, it may be time to hold up that mirror. Are you showing respect to others? Are you respecting yourself?

I’ve learned to recognize that what I’m complaining about in others is sometimes exactly what I need to focus on for myself.

This is how the GRIT® model can help us be mindful. It’s all about our actions. Are we walking the talk? Are we respecting ourselves, so that others can respect us?

If you’re going against yourself with your actions, that’s not showing respect. You’re abusing yourself. You say your family is the most important thing yet you don’t stay present when you’re with them. Or you pick work over an important family commitment. Maybe you give your child a consequence but you don’t follow through on it. Perhaps it’s a promise you’ve made and time after time you don’t deliver. As a manager, perhaps you aren’t listening and following through with people. Or maybe you’re doing all the work yourself because it’s easier and you know it will get done right.

The integrity of our actions is what trust is based on. When people trust us, it’s a whole lot easier to respect us. These 4 Simple Steps for Managers to Gain Trust in Their People have helpful tips on this topic.

Try this exercise: Take a moment right now to reflect on what you might need to focus on in your life to create more respect for yourself - or others.

Write those reflections down. Let them flow.

Then think them through and see what you can learn from them.

When you find the area in your life that needs more respect, be mindful of what a misalignment in this area could be impacting.

Go back to your Truth and your Why to inspire you to make a change.

The GRIT® model provides a roadmap - and it also acts as a great reflection tool. If you’re not respecting yourself or others, you can trace it back to integrity and/or truth. The cool thing is, you can make an adjustment and get right back on track.



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