Words can trap us or empower us. And it’s the words we are telling ourselves that are the most influential.
I am going to try to write a book. I am writing a book. (Hint - even if you haven’t put pen to paper; you are incubating it in your mind. These words will propel you to action. The former will hold you back.)
Which feels more empowering to you?
I am trying to change. I am changing.
I am trying to lose weight. I am losing weight.
I am trying to be a better listener. I am listening more fully.
Often we don’t notice the language we’re using and how it is controlling us. Our words are simply a reflection of what is going on inside of us.
Reflecting back on when I wanted to write my book, I held myself back by saying “I’m trying to write a book.” I was trapped for years by this one little word! Once I shifted this, I remember feeling it was happening. I am writing a book!
Try allows us to hesitate, to not take ownership of it.
It can be difficult to recognize when our language is constricting us rather than enlarging us. A trusted friend can help you be more mindful of this. Just by sharing this with someone, you will become more aware and start doing rather than trying.
Our bodies can help us if we pay attention. How do you feel when you say that? Do you feel constricted and smaller, or do you feel open and more liberated?
Sometimes just the awareness of how we’re feeling will be enough to release us from the stranglehold of our words. Other times we may need more. If you are still feeling hesitation once you change those words, it’s a great opportunity to dig deeper. Why am I hesitating? What is holding me back? (Pay attention to your energy and emotions and you’ll know if you can work on this on your own, or if you need help going deeper. Many of us use professional coaches or even our therapists to help us go deeper. Contact me if you need help finding a resource.)
Trying keeps us from taking ownership and taking action. What are you trying to do? How can you make a change to empower yourself? Share your feedback in the comments so others can benefit from learning what works for you!