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The Perfect Solution to Stop People from Pushing Your Buttons

Updated: Oct 4, 2019

We promised to get back to you this week on something mentioned in last week’s blog.

We said if you are friendly and express love and gratitude, you’ll most likely receive the same. (It was in the context of karma.)

But what happens when you don’t get that friendliness returned to you?

Your friendliness, love and gratitude certainly won’t guarantee that people will always respond in kind.

Just think about it. If someone’s having a really crappy day, your one act of kindness may not snap them out of it. And think a little deeper about this - their crappy response is not about you.

But it’s hard, right, when you’re in the moment… when someone lashes out at you, or responds with a sly remark, or cuts you down with sarcasm. Our initial primal reaction is fight or flight because we think we have to protect ourselves. The best way to protect ourselves is to stay true to ourselves, be confident and caring.

If we let that person’s response bother us, and if we react to something that someone has done to us by doing the same thing to them, we’re not aligning to our Truth. (The cornerstone of the GRIT® model.)

We’re allowing someone to push our buttons and then we respond in a way we may regret, not showing respect for ourselves or for others. With GRIT (generosity, respect, integrity and truth), authentic generosity and respect come from integrity and truth. We’re out of Integrity when we lash out.

If we’re pretty solid with who we are and we are mindful, we’ll realize that that person’s actions really are not about us.

We have complete control over how other people’s actions affect us!

We don’t have to put up with being treated poorly. When we remain true to ourselves and control the way we want to react, it allows us to react tactfully and objectively. We can calmly respond or maybe we choose to ignore it and let it go.

The point is, you choose the action based on your integrity and respect - not based on letting someone push your buttons.

For more on not taking things personally, I highly recommend The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. In Leading With GRIT, I cover this topic as well, from a practical personal and workplace perspective.

In our next webinar, we’re discussing How to Communicate With GRIT®! And, just for attending, you'll receive a Work of Leaders DiSC® assessment! It’s a $107.50 value and we’re only giving it to the people who join us LIVE. Identify your strengths and opportunities in 18 leadership best practices! Register here for the LIVE webinar on March 7th, from 2:00 - 2:30 EST!



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